


Acceptance

by CosmicMind



Category: Gotham (TV)
Genre: Angst, Coming Out, Family Drama, M/M, Sexual innuendos, Sexuality Angst, Teasing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-16
Updated: 2017-07-16
Packaged: 2018-12-02 18:29:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,785
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11514990
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CosmicMind/pseuds/CosmicMind
Summary: Even when he's breaching his thirties, Jim still has trouble with coming out to his mother.





	Acceptance

**Author's Note:**

> This is my coping ship and I wrote most of this when I was going through a really difficult time. Not my best fic but it made me happy to write it

It was genuinely incredible that despite how well Jim and Harvey got along, they were still incredibly different people, especially when it came to their backgrounds.

 

Harvey’s childhood was filled with fond memories of his compact home with his parents and three other red-headed siblings. While he never had much growing up, he did have his family. The home was a place of Harvey getting into mischief with his siblings and sometimes cousins while the adults would scold them like clockwork, and extended family was dropping by all the time with hugs and kisses. Even today, Harvey was still in good touch with his family, despite not being able to see them as much once he got into the GCPD.

 

On the other hand, Jim never talked about his family very much, besides heavy stuff about dealing with the loss of his dad. According to what he told Harvey, Jim had an aunt, a handful of cousins, and only one living grandparent, all living on radically different parts of the country, so family reunions were once in a blue moon. A family that was distant and independent- it wasn’t hard to imagine what Jim got his stoic outer shell from.

 

Jim had been an only child, and was forced to mature much younger than Harvey had due to it only being Jim and his mom for all those years. He did his homework, played baseball for a couple years, and joined the army as soon as he got his diploma- not much mentioned about relatives. A model student who didn’t make much time for family affairs, which couldn’t be said for Harvey.

 

But both men were afraid, because one of the defining differences of their backgrounds was acceptance and tolerance.

 

Neither didn’t think about it, neither wanted to. Pushed it to the very backs of their minds and enjoyed their renaissance of a budding new relationship with the love and security they provided each other. The world around them was light and fluffy for a long time, sitting in a pretty fish bowl.

 

When they chose to crack that bowl, however, had been relatively undiscussed.

 

“My mom’s coming to visit tomorrow,” Jim dropped out of nowhere in the middle of paperwork one day.

 

“Yeah?” Harvey muttered, pushing up his reading glasses. He was only half listening, as he was trying to get some work done for once.

 

“Yep. Been a almost a year since I saw her in person, with both our jobs and all. She’s gonna be staying at my place, and I’m taking her to a play tomorrow, then cook dinner for her at my place.”

 

“Well aren’t you a good son?” Harvey teased, flashing a smile to the man across from him.

 

“And I want you to have dinner with us.”

 

Harvey’s blood froze and his smile cracked. “Huh?”

 

“You heard me right. I want you to meet her. Figured it’s time we be blunt about us.”

 

“Oh jeez,” Harvey breathed, running his hands through his scraggly hair, “Way to drop the bomb, Junior. Guess I can’t get too drunk to socialize for one Sunday night, huh? Do I have to go if I’m wasted? I can get super wasted in the afternoon.”

 

“Harvey, I’m serious.”

 

“So am I! You said she was a hardcore Catholic, and that she still wears a rosary every day. A  _ rosary _ Jim! You see many people who are fine with their son getting a good dicking from an old man wearing those?”

 

Jim shot Harvey a glare. “Keep your voice down! Announce it to the whole precinct, why don’t you?”

 

“Look, I’m sorry, but this is kind of a big deal.”

 

“You’re gonna come. She already agreed to it; I told her your house was having major renovations and I figured she wouldn't mind because I said we were friends.”

 

“Jim, come on. Cut me some slack. Can't we at least talk about this?”

 

“We’ll talk about this later,” Jim huffed, looking back down at his paperwork, “I don't wanna hear it right now.”

 

“But-” Harvey said, attempting to reach out at Jim over the desk.

 

“Drop. It.”

 

Jim stood from his desk and stormed off, mumbling something about needing to piss. Harvey ran his calloused palms over his face with a groan. Of course he couldn't argue with Jim- he was a hot head and it was his way or the highway. One of the negative traits of Jim that reminded Harvey way too much of his first nagging wife.

 

Whatever. Fine. Jim can choose to be angry over Harvey not being down for that last minute coming out to a close relative dinner. Harvey didn't care.

 

At least not to the other’s face.

 

\----

 

The air between them was stifled between them for the entire day. Surprisingly no major crimes had gone on, so both were cooped up in the hot building doing paperwork. Harvey retreated to his office, wallowing in his frustration with Jim’s attitude and pretending not to care. They didn’t even give each other a peck on the cheek before leaving.

 

Until Jim showed up at Harvey’s apartment at eleven at night, looking disheveled.

 

Jim hadn’t even changed out of his uniform, and dripped anxiety-and sweat- from his whole body. Judging from the thin sweat on Jim's forehead and the audible breathing, it wasn't hard to imagine Jim had actually walked over three miles to get here.

 

“You… You actually walked here?” Harvey said.

 

Jim shook his head.

 

“Ran?”

 

Jim nodded, ashamed at his answer with hunched shoulders.

 

There weren’t any words exchanged beyond that, just a deep embrace in the dimly lit hallway of Harvey’s complex as the world went still for a brief eternity. Harvey pressed soft kisses to Jim’s neck and led him inside to the couch, sitting forward as Jim leaned to Harvey with his head on the other’s shoulder. Jim’s breathing was light, but strained on the thoughts that had wrecked his mind all day. He was warm, but Harvey knew he couldn’t cuddle or beyond right now.

 

“Sorry I was kind of a dick earlier,” Harvey chose to say at some point, not knowing how long they sat in silence in their embrace.

 

“No, I should have talked about it with you beforehand,” Jim replied, lifting his face up and gazed with those beautiful blue eyes that melted Harvey every time, “I’m sorry.”

 

It were times like these where Harvey wished the crime and corruption of Gotham could just cease. Had it been possible Harvey would convince Jim to run away with him and live in a cozy cabin in the woods where they can grow old (well, older in Harvey's case) together

 

But reality wasn’t so cozy, as both men had come to learn very early in their lives.

 

“Are you afraid?” Harvey whispered before pressing another kiss to Jim’s temple.

 

“Yes,” Jim replied even quieter, like he was unsure if he truly meant his answer.

 

“You think she won’t approve?”

 

“Yes.”

 

Harvey sighed. “I know this is probably a wrong time to ask, but what’s your mom like?”

 

“She’s… she’s wonderful. Kind, maternal, encouraged my life choices and was always trusting me that I made the right choice. She was thrilled to hear I was going to be a cop.” Jim paused to let out a shaky laugh. “I remember she said, ‘I know that the police will be great again now that a Gordon is back in business’. I don’t tell her everything that happens to me, but I know she worries. I’m all she’s got left. Lots of death in her family.”

 

“But she’s super religious, huh?”

 

“Yeah… I was too as a kid. Went to church every Sunday, crosses everywhere in the house and a Bible always close by. She gossiped about the lesbian girl from down the street, saying she was going to Hell and all that. I just… I just have a feeling that she’ll be gossiping about me next.”

 

And that’s what set Harvey and Jim apart during their childhood. For Harvey he figured out that he swung every way in high school and his family was nothing short of supportive of him. It didn’t matter the genitals of who Harvey brought home, just as long as he used a condom.

 

Judging from Jim’s demeanor, he probably had never even brought the topic of sexuality up to his mom. Like the perfect son he was, what he tried to be.

 

Harvey took in the smell of Jim’s shampoo mixed with the sweat of another smoldering summer. Though he may act strong and intimidating in the hearts of low level thugs, deep down, Jim was terrified. That was a side that only a few people ever saw in Jim, the real Jim.

 

Jim was mindlessly fidgeting with the hem of Harvey’s undershirt as he rested his forehead into the crook of Harvey’s shoulder. The shaking in his hands wasn't something that could go unnoticed.

 

“You don't have to go if you don't wanna,” he said, “I can come out by myself. I'd rather not put a face on something my mom might be disgusted by if you’re so against it.”

 

“No, I’m going,” Harvey assured with a wave of his hand.

 

“Are you sure you wanna do this? I'm not forcing you.”

 

“I'm sure. If she disowns you, I'll be your shoulder to cry on.”

 

Jim let go of Harvey’s shirt and drummed fingers along his chest, sighing. “I don't even know why I'm so scared. I'm a grown man, for fuck’s sake. I don’t have to stay tethered to her if she can't accept me.”

 

“Well you’re super close to your mom, right? Shit, I'd be scared of being disowned too. Though no matter what, we’ll pull through, partner. But you should get some sleep first. Got a big day ahead of us tomorrow. Want me to drive you home?”

 

“No, I can walk.”

 

“You sure? I'll send you home with a cold one and tuck you in, give you a kiss on the forehead.”

 

Jim snorted but accepted the kisses Harvey peppered on his cheek and lips, loving the scratchiness of his beard. “Alright, alright, I'll give in. But I can put myself to bed. Can't have you getting any ideas when I need sleep.”

 

The two let out genuine laughs, but they both could recognize the same level of dread that swam in their eyes. All Harvey could do was hope his mom was still looking over him, because he needed all the luck he could get.

 

\----

 

Actually brushed hair tied back in a ponytail and a clean beard trim? Check.

 

Brushed teeth and mouthwash to rid of his one o’clock whiskey? Check.

 

A nice but casual dress shirt? Check.

 

His anxiety dropped? Absolutely not.

 

Harvey stood outside Jim’s door long before knocking, opting to take a moment to practice what he was going to say. He couldn't be flirting, and he even planned to avoid getting too close to Jim at all as extra precaution. Fuck, he hadn't been this nervous since his first date with Jim.

 

Breath in, breath out. Harvey smoothed his hair back one last time and rapped on the door, attempting to appear casual when the door opened.

 

Thankfully, Jim was the one who answered. He was still in his formal wear from his outing to the theatre, though with an apron over it, and it took every ounce of mental gymnastics not to say Jim looked damn fine.

 

“Hey partner!” he said, giving Jim a firm handshake.

 

“Harvey, good to see you,” Jim said as well, giving a strained but casual smile, “Glad you could make it.”

 

“Well I think if I ordered takeout for one more meal I'd have to go get my stomach pumped.”

 

Harvey stepped inside and was taken back by how  _ clean _ everything was. No empty beer cans or pill bottles in site, and the floor was near sparkling. Harvey considered teasing him that he never cleaned up this much for his boyfriend, but he could save that for later.

 

An older woman still in her makeup and fancy dress was sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of tea between her hands. Her face lit up when Harvey entered and she stood to her feet, going up beside Jim. Compared to Jim, she was a runt, but they had similar faces, so there was no doubt they were related.

 

“Harvey, this is my mom, Eliza,” Jim introduced, motioning to the smaller woman.

 

“It's a pleasure to meet you, Mrs. G,” Harvey said as he shook her delicate hand, like he practiced on the way here. He tried to hard not to notice the cross necklace around her neck.

 

“It's nice to meet you too, Harvey,” Eliza replied, “Jim's told me so much about you over the phone.”

 

Jim’s ears darkened and he folded his arms. “Not that much,” he muttered, turning to go back to the kitchen where he had something bubbling in a pot on the stovetop. Harvey snickered at his bashfulness, and Eliza smiled with along of mischief in her eyes.

 

“Believe me,” Eliza commented, quieter this time. “He speaks very highly of you.”

 

“Potatoes and bread seem to be done,” Jim called behind him as he slid on an oven mitt, “Either of you want wine? It's pinot grigio.”

 

“Have I even turned down a drink, Jim?” Harvey said dramatically, “Give me a glass.”

 

“I’ll stick to my tea, but I’ll get your friend the drink,” Eliza added.

 

“No, it’s fine, Mom. You said your feet were hurting from earlier.”

 

“Jim, I may be old, but I’m not helpless. I can handle it; you’ve done enough for today. Please, Harvey, sit.”

 

Harvey sat at the table as Eliza went next to her son to get the drinks together. She had to stand on her toes to reach the glasses, emphasizing again just how tiny she was in comparison to the men in the room. It was a funny scene, and Harvey chuckled quietly to himself.

 

Though his mouth went dry when Jim had to bend over to get his pans out of the oven, his pants perfectly hugging his ass. Did Jim do this on purpose? Of course he did, Jim always had that mischievous streak in him around Harvey, loving to get a rise out of him. Well two could play at that game.

 

Harvey did a quick cross motion behind the Gordons’ backs for being blessed with such a fine man in his life, but cursed that he couldn’t even enjoy it right now. It was okay. Harvey could survive this one night. After all, he promised to be on his best behavior.

 

But damn was it hard to behave right now.

 

Eliza sat at the table with two glasses of wine- one for Harvey and one for Jim- and the rest of the bottle. Soon Jim followed with bowls of spaghetti, cooked baby potatoes, and a steaming loaf of garlic bread, like serving ambrosia of the gods. It was easy to forget that Jim could cook, considering how much he ate out due to his job and sheer laziness. Inversely Harvey cooked things that could be classified as chemical warfare and was okay with that, so a home cooked meal was a treat.

 

The three passed the food around in a timely manner and did not hesitate to dig in while it was hot. Harvey practically moaned at the flavor, earning a quick glance from Jim with a hint of color in his cheeks.

 

“Holy shit, Jim,” Harvey exclaimed, taking a moment to swallow before continuing his lie, “You never told me you cooked this well. I thought your policy was frozen meals and Chinese takeout all this time.”

 

“No, I think that’s your policy,” Jim bantered.

 

“Sounds ‘bout right. If you could cook like this for every meal I’d have to keep you locked in my house for good.”

 

“Well he learned from the best,” Eliza interjected, “He was always helping me in the kitchen growing up, and sometimes it felt like he knew some tricks even I didn’t. But don’t you ever forget who the boss of the kitchen is, Jim.” She playfully pointed a fork at Jim, who shook his head with his lips pulling upwards.

 

“I’ve gotten rusty, I’ll admit. Just hope this is good enough for you- I know Harvey will eat anything.”

 

“Guilty as charged. I’m the GCPD goat.”

 

The three shared a hearty laughing fit. They engaged in small talk as they continued eating, in which Harvey talked a bit about his childhood growing up in the poorer Gotham suburbs.

 

“So Harvey, tell me,” Eliza said, “How long have you been with the GCPD?”

 

“I think about fifteen, with a couple month break a year ago while I was in the bar business to get away from the constant crooks and crimes going down.”

 

“And you’ve been with Jim for how long?”

 

“Since his first day when he was fresh outta the army, and been stuck with him ever since. Taught him everything he knows.”

 

“Well he seems to look up to you with much regard, judging from what he says during our calls.”

 

“Yeah, I'm kind of a big deal to him. Guess you could say I’m like his second Daddy.”

 

While drinking his wine, Jim nearly choked and went into a small coughing fit at that. Probably a bad word choice on Harvey’s part, considering that they experimented in the bedroom a little bit last week. This was a time he definitely didn’t want to give Jim a boner, especially with his mom sitting right next to him and patting him on the shoulder.

 

“Are you okay?” Eliza asked, somehow not noticing the blush spreading on his face.

 

“Mmm-hmm,” Jim replied when he was able to talk again, “Just went down the wrong pipe.”

 

Eliza nodded in genuine concern while Harvey looked back down at his food meekly. At least their cover wasn’t blown yet.

 

“So… you’re having renovations done at your house?” Eliza questioned to Harvey after seeing that Jim was still alive.

 

“Yep,” Harvey said.

 

“What kind of renovations? In the kitchen, yes?”

 

“Uh-huh…,” Harvey trailed off, shooting Jim a nervous look when he realized Eliza was really invested in this fake kitchen project, “It’s uh… I’m getting my, um, whole kitchen gutted and starting from scratch.”

 

“Really? Going for a more modern look, or just updating appliances? I’m asking because I’m considering updating some of my kitchen as well.”

 

“The first one. Definitely”

 

“Oh, really? That seems to be the direction I want to go in, too. Lived in the same house for almost thirty years and it’s time to pull my kitchen out of the 80’s. The only problem is trying to find an affordable installer that can work when I’m home- I’m a secretary so I’m only free on the weekends. Who did you hire, unless you’re doing this project yourself, and if that’s the case I applaud you.”

 

“Uh…” Harvey was grasping for straws at the point, and was seriously regretting not elaborating on his story before he got here.

 

Yet before Harvey could pull another answer out of his ass, Jim sighed and set his wine down. “Harvey, enough,” he said.

 

“Jim-” Harvey breathed.

 

“No, the jig’s up already. You did your best.”

 

“Jim what on Earth are you talking about?” Eliza queried, looking between the two men. Harvey could feel his heart drop into his stomach, and he didn’t have to be a psychic to know Jim felt it too.

 

“Harvey’s kitchen isn’t, and never had, any renovations being done,” Jim confessed, “It was just a bullshit excuse to bring him here.”

 

“Well, if you wanted me to meet your co-worker so badly, you could’ve been honest. It’s nothing to lie about.”

 

“Yes, it is, because you won’t like the truth.”

 

Eliza’s puzzled expression was now mixing with dread. “Jim, I don’t understand.”

 

Jim took a deep gulp and reached out to take one of Eliza’s hands in his own. “The truth is, Mom… the reason I invited Harvey is because… w-we’re… we’re in a relationship, and have been for almost a year.”

 

“What… kind of relationship?”

 

“Dating. Dating and… having sex.”

 

Eliza’s confusion turned to horror. She stood from her seat and shook her head, yanking her hand away from Jim. “No… no, that’s not true. Is it, Harvey?”

 

Being put on the spot was more nerve-wracking than some of the criminals he dealt with recently, as he could feel Eliza’s large blue eyes pierce his guts. Still, he reluctantly nodded.

 

Unable to express her emotions properly, Eliza took large steps backwards when Jim stood in an attempt to touch her, like a frightened prey in the eyes of a predator. “Stay away from me. Now I see why you left that nice girl Lee: to get whored by a much older man, with premarital sex at that! I saw the way you looked at each other in such a lustful manner, and referencing such lewd acts.”

 

“Mom, wait,” Jim pleaded.

 

“I should’ve known. You talked about him so much recently, but I never wanted to believe you were part of  _ that _ crowd. I raised you better than this.”

 

Jim attempted to respond, but his words choked on their way out of his throat, instead leaving his to lower his hand in shame. He was now visibly trembling, and early signs of hyperventilating were coming on. 

 

Harvey was standing up by now too, unable to decide whether to be with Jim or confront Eliza. He chose the latter for now.

 

“Eliza, can’t we talk about this?” he reasoned, “He’s your son, for Christ’s sake.”

 

“Absolutely not!” Eliza shouted, her voice trembling, “How much do you pay him? Treat him like another toy, messing with his mind? Tell me! Because no son of mine would stoop so low enough to spit in God’s face when he was on such a good path. James Gordon is better than that! He isn’t some  _ queer _ !”

 

Something inside Harvey snapped, just barely restrained enough to not slap this bitch. “You think that’s any way to talk to your son? He took you out, cooked you a nice meal, and so what if you’re too ungrateful for that? But I’m not going to stand here and let you call him that, whether we’re dating or not!

 

“What do  _ you _ know about him!?”

 

“Apparently more than you!”

 

“Y-You… you don't  _ know  _ him like  _ I  _ know him!”

 

“Oh yeah? Jim has been the happiest he’s been in years since we started dating, and I’ve been happy too. I love him, and he’s my entire world. I’d pull out my heart right here for him, and I’d do it a thousand times. He’s my best friend, the best cop I’ve ever worked with, and the love of my life!”

 

It was difficult to read Eliza’s response to processing this information, but she made her way to the front door without putting her heels back on. The cross necklace smacked against her chest as she stormed off. Harvey could feel the steam coming out of his ears, but Jim interrupted him before he could say something he'd regret later.

 

“Fine, leave! Play the victim like you always do!” Jim called as he fought back tears, “But just so you know, if you walk out that door you’ll be out of this house- and my life- for good. And I won’t be opening it up again.”

 

Eliza slammed the door behind herself, leaving Harvey and Jim standing in the kitchen with their unfinished dinners reaching icy temperatures very quickly.

 

Jim said nothing, but sat back down at the table, putting his head in his hands. Harvey gave him a touch on the shoulder, then pressed a kiss to Jim’s head.

 

“I’ll be right back,” Harvey whispered, then turning to go out the door to follow Eliza before she left for good.

 

The summer night kissed his skin, and the evening sun was almost done disappearing from the sky, the stars poking out. Luckily Harvey didn’t have to search far for Eliza, as she was sitting on the steps of Jim’s place, burying her head in her knees. Harvey only felt a little sorry for her at this point.

 

“Just so you know,” Harvey ordered, “I’m not leaving you alone until you apologize to him, and make sure it's real.”

 

Eliza said nothing at first. She lifted her head and sniffled, wiping her nose on her wrist. She patted the spot next to her on the steps. Reluctantly, Harvey sat with her. He noticed that her makeup was running, and she looked so much younger than her actual age in such a pitiful state.

 

“I remember,” Eliza began, “The day before the family with the lesbian daughter from down the street moved out, about five years ago. Jim was still in the army, and I decided to bake pumpkin bread as a leaving present. I didn’t think that their daughter had brought her girlfriend over too. They were sitting on the porch when I walked up.

 

“I really, really wanted to be disgusted. I wanted to be angry. For so many years, I knew it was a sin, and that they were damned. But the way they looked at one another with such adoration- like Peter and I when we too were young and in love. They were  _ happy _ so long as they had each other. I couldn’t be disgusted by that. That’s a story I haven’t even told Jim.”

 

“But it’s not okay when it’s Jim who’s happy with someone who’s ‘damned’?”

 

“No, it’s not… I wanted to believe that Jim was who I knew him as, as I knew him all his life. He was so much like his father, I thought he was going to have the perfect life he strove for… or at least, what I hoped he strove for.

 

“But looking at you, it seems like he’s a total stranger to me by now. My own son, a stranger. I almost envy how compatible you are, and how much you know that I don’t. And I’m sure he hates me now. I'd hate me too for saying something so awful.”

 

“Eliza, please. I meant it when I said I care about him more than anything. I want to be there for him. He’s really messed up from the past few years. You knew he takes meds, right?”

 

“Yes. That I know.”

 

“Yeah, he’s got it rough. But I rarely saw him smile until we hooked up, and it’s like he’s a new person. And he's helped me too, even if he doesn't realize.”

 

“I noticed that as well, but I didn't mention it,” Eliza said. She took a deep breath and turned to Harvey, placing a hand on top of his. “You promise to take care of my son?”

 

“Of course, ma’am.”

 

“Look, it may be a while for me to truly understand and accept his new life style. But I’m trying to understand. I want to understand. He may be grown, but he’s still my boy- I want to see him happy. You seem like a good man, and I trust that your intentions are pure. Thank you, Harvey, for protecting him.”

 

Harvey nodded with bewilderment, helping Eliza to her feet before she gave Harvey a tight hug, like one she’d give her own son. He returned the tight embrace, feeling tears welled in his eyes but refusing to let them fall. It brought him back to his own mom’s hugs, except Harvey’s mom had a wider frame and packed on more pounds. The feeling was all the same though.

 

The two both took deep breaths, Eliza composed herself, and they stepped back inside. Jim hadn’t moved from his spot at the table, and met Eliza’s tearful gaze with his own. He stood to his feet, ready to counter what Eliza wanted to say. Angry, but didn’t speak a word.

 

Eliza took a meek step forward, wringing her hands in front of her. “I don’t expect you to forgive me,” she apologized, “What I said to you was vile and horrible. If you want me to leave, I will, and I’ll stay gone. But please listen to what I have to say.”

 

Jim’s tense posture lessened. “I’m… I’m listening,” he said.

 

The trio sat down at the table again, but this time Harvey sat next to Jim, holding his hand and stroking it over with his thumb. As Harvey looked between the two Gordons, a sense of pride swelled in his breast that everything was going to be okay.

 

Just as long as he had Jim.

**Author's Note:**

> Here I got a [regular blog](thegarbagechan.tumblr.com), and an [art blog](drawingcrows.tumblr.com) too. Both are abundant with gotham in general


End file.
